We’ve had some radio silence over here for the last several months and I figured it was time to break the silence and share a little “state of the union” with you. So for the first post of 2022, we’re going to talk about what is going on & how the Lord has dramatically changed my heart, my family, and in turn, my business.
Over the last several months, I haven’t posted a single thing on Instagram. I haven’t even opened the app (except that one time I logged in to get some stats to a brand about a past post) and that is something I’ve never done before. It’s true that I’ve had seasons of infrequent posts or weekends off the ‘gram, but I have never deleted the app from my phone and spent weeks (and weeks and weeks) doing my own thing without ever opening the app or posting a picture.
On Thanksgiving Day in 2021, I learned that I was pregnant (surprise!!!) My first trimester is always a season for me – pure exhaustion, strong aversions to food, general nausea, and a huge distain for social media. It happens every pregnancy in my first trimester but this time it was stronger. This year, compiled with two very active toddlers and a season of sickness (croup, COVID, & the stomach bug), I cut out all social media and it felt great. It felt so great that I really started reflecting on my job as a “influencer” and also my role as mother to two babies + one on the way.
For a long time – years in fact – my business (and my life even at times) has revolved around Instagram. Since Instagram became a bit of a thing, an active and robust Instagram following was something I pursued and worked for. I’ve wrestled with algorithm changes, Instagram growth, stats & numbers that brands want to see to continue working with them in sponsored capacities. While Instagram for others was fun at best, mine morphed into my job pretty quickly as brands discovered they could use social media (not just blogs) in sponsored capacity. Over the years, I’ve shared tips and tricks for Instagram on the blog helping others grow and I’ve also shared about why we need to care a little less & wrote an ode to Instagram. It’s no secret that Instagram has been a place of great joy & provision for my family in the past as well as great distress trying to keep up and maintain it all.
My first trimester was hard. I can’t tell you how many playdates we canceled, things we rescheduled, and projects that got put on hold. It was a time of extreme cutback – eliminating everything (including nearly all the Christmas festivities) to take care of our sick family & to give my very limited energy to the baby growing inside me, my two toddlers, and my best friend & husband of 10 years.
I’m currently 18 weeks (making this the slowest baby announcement on Oak + Oats) and my body still tires easily these days. Taking care of my beautiful baby girls who are full blown toddlers and also growing this little baby inside, requires much of me. My reserves are only so deep & my wells can only hold so much.
It has been in the stripping of everything else & all the extra that I fill my life with, that I really see what’s important. My eyes have been opened to all the things that stress me out that are simply unnecessary. I’ve cut out other titles I’ve bestowed upon myself and taken off other hats I wear all to protect my family time, my mind, and my body. I’ve prioritized Christ in the morning instead of emails. I have felt more free to reach out to friends or try a new thing with the girls because I’m not worried about meeting a due date or getting a project done or posting on social media.
Sometimes it takes a physical situation to make us slow down and see how much the hustle is really affecting us. And looking back, the hustle was really effecting me.
The truth is that this last season has been hard. It’s been very physically demanding and emotionally commanding. But in ways it’s been so sweet and looking back I see so much fruit that has happened from cutting out so many distractions.
I personally find myself at a crossroads to continue & keep up an online career that I started decades ago or to say goodbye to this job that I fell into. It’s no secret that I’ve been wrestling with Instagram & the ever demanding lifestyle / time commitment of an influencer. But I also hate to walk away from the memories, the history, and the very real passions I have for photography and writing that have developed over the years.
I always knew that one day I’d stop being an Instagram Influencer and stop taking sponsored posts, but I never knew when that would be. That whole world has changed changed a lot since I started and I’ve avoided the nagging feeling long enough, the time is now.
But do you want to know the new thing Satan whispers in my ears? You won’t have the life you want or the things you like if you give up this job. Why turn down the easy money sponsorships bring and the nice things brands send me? Sponsored posts are easy and the money is good. Who will provide for you if you walk away from this? Will your kids be able to do fun things without the extra income? What about inflation and the general state of the world – you really think you can live on less with more kids? And really it goes on… (to all that I say Matthew 6:19-34!!!)
I’ve been confronted not only with my identity that I place in work (what I do, what people think of me) but also with the monetary value I take from it. There is so much more to say here and I’m sure it will come out in future blog posts, but I do know that I need to stop trying to keep up with all the people around me and instead be faithful to do what the Lord is asking me. Romans 12:2 has been particularly impactful to me (as well as countless verses in this season) “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”
Not sure what is next for me and my family, but I do know that I’m saying goodbye to some things to say yes to others. And right now that is the work God has for me and I want to walk in that despite the risks and the perceived losses – “For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” (Ephesians 2:10)
And we rejoice greatly in this gift the Lord has given us. Baby #3 has already changed our lives and we don’t even know who they are yet!
PS: I am now on Good Reads because it turns out you have a lot more time to read when you cut out social media! I’m always looking for good book recommendations!! So leave a comment or find me there!
I am going to miss you on Instagram but I understand! I do not have kids and still find myself occasionally fantasizing about deleting it all. So glad you still have your blog so I can keep up on your life, but if that goes too, I’ll understand! Family and you come first! Congratulations on the new addition!!
Thanks so much Gentri! I also will miss the basic sharing and updating on life that Instagram allows for but my hope is for my blog to stay that record of my life! And as a writer and photographer, this blog will definitely change over time but most likely go nowhere! Thankful to have connect with you so many years ago! What a gift!
Beth! I’m so happy for you and congrats on all things new and fresh! I’m excited for the new direction you are taking and hope it brings you so much joy! Love you friend!
Sam!!! Thanks so much! You’ve always been an example of following your own path! I’m s thankful we met years ago online and that we still get to be friends to this day! Always thankful for your encouragement!! Love you friend!
Congrats!!! I am so happy for you and your family.
I have to say that though I am newer to the blogging and “influencing” world I am also dealing with very similar things as you. And the hardest part for me is not wanting to quit when I feel like I’ve only done it for a short time. But it is a lot. And I already work full time and homeschool my girls. I am trying to just give it to God and wait for an answer. But this was a very timely post for me.
Wishing you all the best in your pregnancy <3
Desiree
Desiree! Thanks so much! It is a lot and there is so much to take into account with it all. Mostly I just felt God calling me away from it and me just replying with excuses to stay. I’m doing a Bible study called Get Out of Your Head by Jenny Allen and it is a Philippians study and I am also doing this personal devotion called Becoming a Woman of Simplicity which have really helped me process and see where my head is at. This choice does impact our budget and I am realizing how much stock (idols) I put into what I do/ provide and having money. But God is reminding me who I am (His workmanship created to do good works that he planned in advance for me) and who He is (my provider) I have so many responsibilities outside of my job and I want to be faithful to the things the Lord has called me to. And it took being forced to put work / social media down to see how much head & heart space it was taking up. All that to say, you don’t need to rush into any decision but following the Lord and his call is infinitely better than anything else. So seek Him and he will show you what those works are – and they may very well be still be being an “influencer” but they also may not! Praying for you and your next steps as you process everything!
We’ve missed all of you! Congratulations on your pregnancy! So happy for the little girls to be big Sisters. Taking a break is needed and good for mental health too. Sorry to hear you have all been sick. Thinking of you all and wishing you a wonderful pregnancy! Looking forward to hearing about updates from the blog. Take care,
Susan
Ottawa, Canada
Thank you so much Susan! I definitely got more text in my absence as I have been pretty faithful with updates over the years! HAHA! And we are finally feeling better around here which we all are grateful for! The girls love talking about the baby and are very excited about their role as big sisters! I’m so thankful for how the Lord has blessed us and is working in our hearts! Thanks for your encouragement and prayers!!
Oh Beth, you are amazing! I am so happy to hear about your third baby on the way and I am so thankful for this post. Though you don’t owe any of us answers at any time, I am so thankful you took the time to update us “friends” on your life and where you went, I was worried about you and had been thinking of you and your family often. I definitely understand your decision to leave Instagram. I have such a love/hate relationship with social media and my smartphone in general. I long for the good ole slider phone days lol! You are a very strong, very inspiring woman, and it is so admirable to see you always trusting God and putting Him first, especially in today’s rocky world, we need Jesus so desperately. Thank you for always being an inspiration and for sharing your little corner of the world with us. I will continue to follow you on the blog and I would love to be your goodreads friend! Take care, will be praying for you in this challenging, beautiful season of your life.
Thank you SO much for this comment! This is such a great encouragement to me and I’m just honored to read these words. I’m not disappearing forever, just being faithful to the Lord’s nudges, and seeing where he takes me!
Love this so much! And you! And your family!
Congratulations and what a change! I’ve missed you on IG but totally understand. Can’t wait to see what God has for you moving forward! Following you on Goodreads now 🙂
Thank you so much Amanda! So excited for reading books and not just Instagram captions 😉
Girllllll, I hear you. I even published a post TODAY with my own thoughts and decision about stepping away from Instagram. How funny! https://chelseaeubank.com/2022/02/stepping-away-from-instagram/
Yay for girl #3! Maybe I’ll follow in your footsteps, I’m 22 weeks with girl #2 🙂
And, not to say I found comfort in reading about your great discomfort, but my first trimester was so similar, and YES to pregnancy with a toddler, wowzers. And you have two! Saying a prayer for you and sending virtual hugs and high fives.
You were one of the first women I connected with in the blogosphere way back in probably 2011 or something. To you I say thank you for being faithful to the gifts He has given you and even more, thank you for courageously following His leading and your own heart. I am with you 100%.
Oh friend I can relate to this 100%! I deleted my IG account years ago at the peak of my blogging and it was a game changer in a lot of ways. There are so many pros and cons to both being on it and being off of it, but God and family come first and it’s refreshing to see you truly walk that road in all sincerity! Sending you hugs and blessings on this new season 🤍🤍 I’m glad you will still have your blog!! Blogs forever, right??!! Haha! Xoxo Katie
Congratulations on baby number three, mamma! 😍 I’ll be sad to not see your beautiful family pop up in my feed, but I completely understand the need for change. I still hope we can friendcation in Norway someday, and in the meantime I’ll smile and think of you whenever I call for my Laila Beth. 😘
Thanks so much sweet Laken! I will be here on the blog sharing a bit of the girls too! And we’re saving money for a beautiful Norway trip! One day! We just keep having babies these days!