I cried while we were at the doctor’s office and the pediatric orthopedist was fitting Hilde for her hip brace. Ever since she was born, doctors and nurses were telling us about how she would need a hip ultrasound because she was born breech but would have to wait until she was a month or so old. So the time came and we went through all the steps. Our pediatrician sent us to one pace to do the ultrasound and then after reviewing the images, refereed us to a pediatric orthopedist.
Being pregnant and having a baby has led to me having more doctors appointments than I’ve had total in my life 😉 Honestly I wasn’t expecting much – everyone has been so chill about it that I didn’t think it was a huge issue. So when I was in that office and she was diagnosed with hip dysplasia and being fitted for her brace, the mama tears were real. I was so thankful Bruce was there to listen and ask questions while I held Hilde and tried not to cry.
For the first time since becoming a mom, I felt like I had truly failed her. I have felt like I failed our home by not cleaning, or work by not answering emails, or Bruce by never making dinner (how do moms make dinner?!) but never Hilde. I hold her, change her, feed her, and she is happy. But now my little girl was going to have to wear a brace (that she hated btw) because she was breech. And I couldn’t help feel like it was my fault she was breech, therefore made to wear this brace that she didn’t like. I know that is silly and is not the truth, but 100% is how I felt.
What is hip dysplasia you ask?
It is the medical term for a hip socket that doesn’t fully cover the ball portion of the upper thighbone. This allows the hip joint to become partially or completely dislocated. Hilde’s left hip isn’t dislocated but isn’t moving the way they want it to. If left untreated, this can become painful and more complicated to fix in the future. They are diligent about catching hip dysplasia early on so that they can prevent problems from arising. This is so good for her and her little body. Because her bones are still soft and growing, they can normally correct this now so that she will be fine the rest of her life.
In this situation the good outweighs the bad. She is so young so (for now at least) all she has to do is wear this fabric brace 24/7. We don’t know for how long or if she will have to move into another brace and/or surgery but no matter what, it is better to catch this while they are young. She is not moving much (aka not walking or crawling) so the brace doesn’t bother her that much now unless she wants to stretch her legs. The hard things are seeing her get frustrated when she tries to stretch, knowing all the new outfits I just bought & washed for her she won’t be able to wear, and not being able to hold her as close when I nurse her (we both miss that.) But in the long run, that doesn’t matter.
I still cried at the doctor, in the car after that, and at home
a couple times.
No matter how simple or complicated this ends up being, it’s all a bit overwhelming for this new mama. I’ve been allowing myself to feel all the feels because normally I don’t (that 7 life) but also so thankful and hopeful that we’re treating this now.
I’m hopeful that this will work and the brace will be off sooner rather than later but we really have no idea. The doctors have been so vague about it all because they want to wait to see how she responds to this. So we wait and we snuggle. And we will see what the next steps are!
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