This post has been a long time coming. Amy reached out to me asking if I would participate in her You are lovely series and I said yes. That was in January. Seven months later I still had not gotten around to creating the post. I had a million reasons – lack of time, work, other projects, my social life, sleep, and everything else. It wasn’t until this week that it hit me, I didn’t want to share my flaws. I can talk about hard times, the struggles, the sin that I have overcome but the stuff I am in the middle of is too raw and too real. I finally got the courage to type something up and I shared it on her blog. Today I want to share it with you!
My husband Bruce took that picture when I was enlisting him to help me with a picture of me at my Stitch Fix box. He kept getting the camera so close to my face and telling me to smile. The alarms started going off in my heart – “That lense is so close to my face – the pimples, the wrinkles, the uneven tones, the gaps in my teeth, THE PIMPLES” I told him to stop playing around and take a picture of me and my mail! His response snagged at my heart because he simply said ” I can’t! You are so beautiful, I just want to keep taking pictures of your face!” and my gut reaction was, “that cannot be true.”
Sweet ones, this is a huge deal because I heard my heart. I felt the frustration of a camera so close to the pimples on my face. I cringed at my reflection in the mirror when I got that close and only assumed everyone else did as well. I let him take his pictures and went on with my day.
Later as I was uploading them to my computer, I felt the overwhelming urge to post it to instagram. This picture that created so much angst in me needed to be shared. My husband is not the only one to tells me that I am beautiful, my Savior does too. I am chosen, loved, worthy, valuable, and precious. When my heart called Bruce a liar, I also called the Lord a liar. I sat there with my instagram ready to be published and asked forgiveness.
I have a story of body image issues and some days I am riding high on grace & truth and other days I cry over a pimple. This world throws so many words, expectations, and ideals our way. It is hard to not let them sink in even when we are surrounded by encouraging people (shout out to my amazing husband!!) and even when we are seeking the Lord.
Today I want to tell you that you are lovely. I want to be the person to speak truth into the darkness and into those lies. I want to encourage you because it is a journey. Sometimes my negative self talk is too much to handle but sometimes my heart finds hope & peace in the Lord. Chose truth today over the lies. Don’t let Satan steal your beauty. Let your light shine through, let your love speak volumes, and let you smile light up the room. Because you are beautiful. You are loved. and you have the power to share truth just by being you.
If you have not had the chance to watch Colbie Caillat’s new music video “Try,” I encourage you to do so now. You might need a tissue, I sure did! It is wonderful to see a bit of light shine out of such a dark, fake world.