I Am Not Enough

I am not enough. Yikes! The mantra these days is that we are enough, we can do anything, we deserve good things, and self love. While I like the idea of a lot of that, the truth is I am not enough. I cannot do all the things. I don’t deserve good things – the wages of sin is death (Romans 6:23) And the greatest commandment – love God, love others requires me putting God & others before myself.

When I champion the phrase ” I / you am/are enough.” I set us up for disappointment. Because I’m not all the things for all the people and all the situations. I fail daily at motherhood, at friendships, at marriage, at work, at housekeeping, and this general life in quarantine (who else feels like all of instagram is doing better at the quarantine life than you are?!) I need Christ!

But not being enough isn’t a sad thing. It may feel or look that way in a world that tells us we are defined by our achievements but we don’t have to live that way. We are not enough on our own but God assigns us value & worth (John 15:16, Psalm 193.) We cannot achieve perfection, but God is perfect (Psalm 18:30.) We are not strong enough in our own power, but God is our strength (Psalm 46:1-3, Nehemiah 8:10.) No amount of good deeds can ever make me holy, but God makes me holy (1 Thessalonians 5:23-28.) So while on my own I’ll always fail in reaching perfection, in Christ I can REST in His GRACE knowing my identity doesn’t like in my achievements. I can LOVE bigger because Christ lives & loves in me. I can trust that when abiding in Christ, I will be enough.

So while the heart of ” you are enough” is to empower and encourage. We miss the mark when we leave out Christ! I’ve had this post in my drafts for some time now and I find it ironically perfect that it is all coming together for Good Friday today. I don’t know about you but Easter & Holy Week has felt immensely different than any other year. COVID-19 snuck in the same time as Lent and took so much more away than we bargained for. I’ve had to fight to keep this holiday & season at the front of my mind and I haven’t always succeeded. We honor today, a day that feels less than good as a perfect man & God in flesh dies I gruesome death on a cross for us. He did no wrong but took on every wrong we have ever done and will do so that we might live. He died to give us worth, purpose, hope, future, and LIFE abundantly (John 10:10.)

So today rest in the truth that you are not enough but God is! There is freedom in living in Him. Trusting Him to be the fullness. Trusting Him to give you purpose & meaning. You don’t have to be perfect – you don’t have to achieve, achieve, achieve. You don’t have to be the best at quarantine activities or perfectly protect your loved ones from any germs or not be sad about missing your friends or vacations. His mercies are new every morning, hope is on the horizon (seriously Easter is coming!), and while the world can feel so heavy, God is on the throne and He has already won the war.

The truth is I’ve had a couple hard days this week as my endurance in this quarantined life is running out but I’m not out of the race. I am not enough but God is.

PS: I just wanted to add a quick note. There is a difference between self-care and self-love although they are used interchangeably. Self-care helps you love other better and takes care of the one body you have been given here on Earth (ex. Working out, taking a shower, steping into another room to cool down instead of yelling at your kids). Self-Care can turn into self-love (because everything can be an idol) but taking a shower or voicing your feelings is not a bad thing in and of itself. Self-love says you are the most important person – putting yourself first in all things above your spouse, kids, coworkers, neighbors, Christ, etc.